PS Lauren Got a tetanus shot.

#1 EXPOSURE

Let’s be a little frank here, most of us live a coddled life free from exposure to risk. We even pray for safety (the “unmolested” prayer), security and freedom from any and all harm. From Christian schools, to home-schools to private neighborhoods we live a sheltered life. Going away forces us to experience new culture, new Christians and different ways of living. All of which is good.

#2 OBEDIENCE

Not all of us HAVE to go on a short-term mission trip to follow Jesus’ Great Commission (Matt. 28.18-20) but to do so is a form of obedience to that command. The problem, as stated in the last post, is when we leave our obedience in the country or place we served. Nevertheless, doing so is a form of obedience.

#3 CAMARADERIE

Or, fellowship. Some of my fondest memories are on short-term mission trips serving alongside of people both young and old. Look, we hide who we really are in the three times (or how ever many) you gather during the week. But, working alongside of someone for a week exposes you to more of who they are and this is a good thing.

#4 MOMENTUM

Once you create a fire for mission in someone often it sets a course along a line that cannot be quenched. Countless people have decided to do more mission work because of a short-term mission trip. It’s like tasting something amazing and wanting more.

#5 EDIFICATION

Both the individual and church is edified (built-up, developed, strengthened) when we do these short-term mission trips. Paul commands the Romans to edify one another and we are also included in the extended context of that verse (Rom. 14.19). When we go on trips it allows the local church to gain strength but it allows the individual to do so as well. I am not a leadership guru but that seems to me like a WIN-WIN.

There could be more so what would you add?

SHORT-TERM MISSION TRIP: A temporary period of time where a church group (or group of Christians) travel domestically or internationally to come alongside a church or para-church organization to help advance the kingdom of God in that specific geographic location.

There are examples of short-term mission trips in Scripture as Paul, Luke, Barnabas, Timothy, Mark and others went to different cities for short periods of time starting churches (Insert book of Acts here). Short-term mission trips seem to be the norm now for many churches and just about every youth group has their own place(s) that they go to each year. I love short-term mission trips and in the next post I plan on discussing why we SHOULD go on a short-term mission trip. But today I want to discuss 5 reasons why I believe you should not go.

#1 – CONVENIENCE

This may be the top reason as many of us find it “convenient” to do mission work somewhere else rather than right where God plants us. Sometimes we travel thousands of miles to do mission when all we have to do is walk next door. Short-term mission trips tend to be convenient.

#2 – CONFINEMENT

As a youth minister I have been guilty of placing too much stock in events like camps, retreats and trips to place the hype of our spirituality in these weeks. What happens? We leave the trip, retreat or camp and we also leave God. Sometimes we confine our spirituality into events not understanding that we are called to “go” AND to “BE”.

#3 – CAPITAL

I am not trying to be critical at all but what would it look like to send our plane ticket money to the churches who already know the work and are indigenous to the culture instead of buying a ticket and going to a place where we do not know the culture nor the language? Why not work locally (assuming you do) and save on travel, hotels, and other costs.

#4 – CONSUMERISM

We tend to view mission trips sometimes through the lens of what it can do for us. Whether it is an experience, sites to see or places we enjoy we often look at it in terms of consumerism. Most of all, we miss out on developing real relationships because we go on the trip, develop friendships, and hardly keep in touch (because of the nature of the trip).

#5 – CONTROL

There is this sense that as “American Christians” we are the better way of doing church and so we are going down there to show how good of a church we are. It becomes a twisted power structure and we want to control how they do church down there. Such could not be farther from the truth as most often “American Christians” have a distorted view of church and they actually teach us how to do church.

Now…stay tuned tomorrow for why we SHOULD go on a short-term mission trip.

Last week I had the opportunity to sit in a FFA banquet honoring the East Robertson High School FFA and their accomplishments throughout the year. During the ceremony they played a slideshow of pictures and the music in the background of the slideshow were recent popular country songs. This made perfect sense to me since FFA is geared towards farmers but as the music played my mind was drawn to the power of music and worship and how it is tied to our identity.  Consider the following Scriptures…

1 Praise the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens!
² Praise him for his mighty deeds;
praise him according to his excellent greatness!

³ Praise him with trumpet sound;
praise him with lute and harp!
⁴ Praise him with tambourine and dance;
praise him with strings and pipe!
⁵ Praise him with sounding cymbals;
praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
⁶ Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord! (Psalm 150)

So the first post here before you read this one.

So there is a growing issue that we talked about in the last post that is, as Robert Epstein noted, the “infantization” of adolescents and the result is delayed maturity. We also noted that this has become a growing concern in our churches which families must pay attention to in the rearing of their children. Something I did not mention in the last post but something I have witnessed among twenty-somethings across the church spectrum (not just where I am employed) is that, even in terms of spiritual formation, we are fostering an infant-Gospel which may even play into why many are leaving the church. Again it is a weird cyclical pattern where we our just as guilty for fostering this co-dependency. We in the church are saying: “Come to a building and become spiritually formed. You don’t have to participate just come. Oh by the way, we have certain rules if you do participate and there are things you can do and things you can’t do.”

Do you see what we are doing? Leaders in the church are treating our spiritual family like we are treating our immediate family. That makes sense doesn’t it?

So what can we do? I am skipping over a bunch of material Robert Epstein covers in Part 2 of his book where he builds a strong case on the capabilities of young people. I am already assuming that you understand that our young people are capable and we must build on that and feed it. I have a few suggestions for churches, youth groups and families. I think they apply to all…

• Incorporate classes where parent, child, young and old learn side by side. Of course there are difficulties with this…embrace it.
• Allow young folks to help in the decision-making of church. If they don’t like where the church is going ownership might help alleviate that issue.
• Quit treating them like kids and empower them.
• Make them earn things through hard work, determination and goal-setting. Should every child have their car-insurance paid for? Why? Do adults get theirs paid for? What happens if you don’t pay for insurance….you don’t drive. The same goes with cell phones.
• Partner them with mature adults other than yourself. Assuming you are mature. KIDDING!
• Look for young folks who have a broken family and partner more mature young folks with them.
• Allow students to choose for themselves a relationship with God. A lot of debate here. Some say you can never let someone in your house stay home during services and others vent that you must allow them to choose for themselves in all times. What is lost in all of this is the dialog of what they are doing and why. We tell them to go to church services but not why. Worse, we tell them to go to services and then to leave Jesus at the building.
• Give them freedom along with education.

I know I have skipped over a bunch of things. What would you suggest?

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Photo Credits: włodi on CC

I am no expert and much of the material I have in this post does not come from statistical analysis nor does it come from any sort of terminal degree. What I see comes from my few years working with teenagers and watching them move into their twenties. There are other sociologists, psychologists and experts who can give you a better treatise than I. I will say though that a lot of my thoughts are formed not only from experience but also confirmed in a book called Teen 2.0 by Robert Epstein.

He forms the problem very succinctly in what is called “delayed adolescence”:

For the first time in human history, we have artificially extended childhood well past puberty. Simply stated, we are not letting our young people grow up. By holding back our young, we have created a new disorder: Extended Childhood Disorder, characterized by feelings of hopelessness, anger, and a lack of control over one’s life.

Epstein, Robert (2010-02-24). Teen 2.0: Saving Our Children and Families from the Torment of Adolescence (Kindle Locations 513-515). Independent Publishers Group. Kindle Edition.

Why is this? What are some of the reasons why we have extended our children? There are multiple issues to this but some of the things I am seeing is that we are raising our children to become almost dependent on parents for their resources. Parents are not, for the most part, engaging their children in having a job, being responsible for their decisions or even their own emotional viability. In stead, parents take responsibility for all therefore creating some sort of sick and twisted co-dependency that is fostered deep in their twenties and even into their thirties.

Yet, this is a completely new issue (maybe even a Western World Issue) as the idea of adolescence has crept in. Epstein notes:

Teens, I learned, had been treated like adults throughout most of human history. It’s only recently that they’ve been infantilized.

Epstein, Robert (2010-02-24). Teen 2.0: Saving Our Children and Families from the Torment of Adolescence (Kindle Locations 453-454). Independent Publishers Group. Kindle Edition.

Before you jump ahead this is not a lets-go-back-to-the-glory-days-of-early-USA-talk. The idea of delayed adolescence and the concept of the “teenage years” has…

..get this…

ONLY OCCURRED RECENTLY IN HUMAN HISTORY.

Think about it…when you were old enough to work on the farm you did. Mary and Joseph were quite young (some scholars suggest 13?) when Jesus came about. The thought of a 13 year old in my youth group having a baby scares me. Why? We have infantilized our kids and have not let them grow up.

The Industrial Revolution was barely off the ground (the steam engine was invented in England in 1763), and life was largely agricultural. Young people worked side by side with adults as soon as they were able, as they still do in many countries around the world, and, shortly after puberty, young males often left the family to learn a trade.

Epstein, Robert (2010-02-24). Teen 2.0: Saving Our Children and Families from the Torment of Adolescence (Kindle Locations 684-687). Independent Publishers Group. Kindle Edition.

What does this all mean? It means this is becoming an issue with churches, youth ministries and, most of all, parenting. We should raise our children to be self-reliant and Savior-reliant not mom-and-dad-reliant. Far too often I have seen parents sucked in to pouring their financial resources into twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings who, quite honestly, have not grown up and are still acting like kids. The sick part is that the parents are fostering this cyclical pattern. Heaven forbid we let Johnnie or Susie endure turmoil for their dumb decisions. Let’s just dip into our retirement and empty that to pay for their lunacy.

So what can we do? See you tomorrow.

This is a random post and a little out of my comfort zone as this borders on Pinteresty idea0sharing but I thought I would share some ideas to help the pitiful dads out there getting a gift for their wife or mom. The caveat is that if you are like me you never save for this occasion and the last thing you want to do is throw this on the credit card so what can you do? First of all, you are a man so suck it up, quit your whining and use your survival skills. Pull it together dude! Secondly, you need to be creative and that means you are going to have to get off the recliner and think a little bit and do some work. Thirdly, involve your kids in this one so it becomes a family affair. Finally, do something for a widow in your church, community or neighborhood. Especially do something for a mother who has recently lost a child.

You ready men?

Or should I say, “Spartans READY?”

Ok…

10. Make all the meals the entire day.

Forget going out to eat. That is too easy and every man resorts to that. All that does is confirm that you didn’t think about it and the worst part is that you are going to have to wait in line for 2 hours to eat. What’s worse than hungry kids, a hungry wife and a wasted day? Let me answer that for you…nothing!

9. Clean-up.

This goes a long way. Do the dishes, do the laundry (ask how to do it first), be Mr. Mom and help a sister out!

8. Create a video especially for her.

This is where you get the kids involved. Record reasons why you love her and why she is a bucket full of awesome and put it on a video and give it to her. Flowers fade but a DVD lasts a long time…at least until your youngest son uses it as a weapon of mass destruction.

7. Have your family do a collage of photos and frame it.

This is so easy. Get pictures, cut pictures, put in frame. Give to mom. So easy a caveman could do it.

6. Make a CD of songs that remind you of her or make a playlist on her iPod.

Music is the keys to a person’s heart and remember the romantic courting you did back when dinosaurs roamed the earth? Try a little of that.

5. Go down to a park and have a picnic.

If the weather is appropriate pack a picnic, play some games and have fun. Just leave your fancy gadgets at home.

4. For your own mom, put together a booklet of 13 reasons you are thankful for her in 2013.

That may be dumb and cheesy but I am going to do it…hope you are not reading this mom.

3. Plant a tree and call it _____________’s tree.

That could be as cheap as $20. Have your kids dig the hole, you plant it, put dirt around it, make a cute plaque from wood and call it ______________’s tree. Ignite the inner tree-hugger in you!

2. Take the kids away to a park and let her stay at home and do nothing.

We DO stuff all the time and my wife is around kids 24/7 and so sometimes she just needs to detox. Make her breakfast, go to church together (you better go to church with her), take her home…and leave and don’t come back for 3-5 hours. Or more.

1. Google an idea you lazy poor excuse for a man!

Click on this link (Super-Cheap Ideas on Google).  You’re welcome. A ton of ideas that are cheap, cost effective, and friendly.

I hope these help and give your mom or wife that special recognition she deserves. Before I close I want to address criticism you may have for dads being “cheap tight-wads.” Remember it is the media that is pushing you to do more, spend more because it is your mother/wife after all. Ignore them and do somethign special instead of just buying her something. I am a minimalist and I married a minimalist but we still like to do nice things for each other. Here’s a thought that the media does not tell you. The money you are saving on Mother’s Day goes to that PAID-FOR vacation down the road, perhaps a PAID-FOR car or just being in a good financial state. Put that in your debt-pipe and smoke it.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Photo Credits: Marc Falardeau on Creative Commons

This past Sunday some of the youth group members and I had a movie day after AM services and while we were watching the movie I glanced over at some of the teenagers and they were on their phone doing who knows what. It used to be just “texting” but now there is a host of things they are doing:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Clash of Clans
• Twitter
• Insert app here

When looking at groups of people rarely do I find them talking on the phone but so often they are texting, searching, playing or listening. Of course, I am not unscathed by all of this as I check my phone often for updates, messages and emails. It all seems to be a relentless journey through a land of nothingness. My wife and I have gone out to eat a few times…in our marriage…and when we have gone out I look at couples eating together and instead of talking with each other they are texting someone else or at least sifting through an app somewhere on the phone.

Somewhere down the road I was taught that when you are on your phone during a conversation you are always saying that other person is more important than the conversation.

Now it is not another person, it’s an app. An app holds more attention than I do and what is lost in all of this is the art of conversation. Do you remember growing up (some of you will have to think really hard ) and your parents would introduce you to a “grown-up”? My dad always asked that I look the grown-up in the eye and speak to them because that was the respectful thing to do. Conversation was important and it meant something.

Now we have emails…

Text messages…

Facebook messages…

Snap-chat (what the mess is up with that?)…

We have a generation that is growing up and does not know how to have a conversation. I talk with teenagers all of the time and a lot of them simply do not know how to talk. They cannot make eye contact, they are always checking their devices and only answer questions with a “yes” or a “no”.

I am afraid this has also bled into our church as we are a people who have lost the art of community. Part of that is because we have digitized everything and that includes our conversation. The irony of this is that you are reading a blog post and there is hardly any conversation going on right now.

So what can we do? 5 pieces of advice:

1. Schedule forced Sabbath times. You and I need to cease from doing so that we can be. That means casting our devices into a shed for a while. A study of 500 American college students revealed that Seventy-three percent of them said they would not be able to study without some form of technology, and 38% said that they could not even go more than 10 minutes without checking their laptop, smartphone, tablet or ereader (Source).
2. Discern what you are using and why. The device is not intrinsically demonic but you need to discern why you are using it.
3. Parents, the apple does not fall far from the tree. For every teenager I see using their iPhone I see mom and dad on it as well. Those eyes are watching parents… and they are learning.
4. Process, Process, Process. Have a time where you get together and discuss your device usage as a family.
5. Going along with #1, have mandatory, habitual N.D.T.’s.  N.D.T. stands for No Device Times. That means the device is not allowed during worship (bring a written bible with ink…it won’t kill you…), not allowed during meal times, when company is over, in the car, and other communal times.

What would you add?

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Photo Credits: Joris Louwes on Creative Commons

When I was young our family used to go visit both sets of grandparents in Toronto. My dad’s parents lived on the west side and my mom’s parents lived on the east side. Both had their fun but what I loved about going to my mom’s parents was the different restaurants that were within walking distance of where they lived. There was one place that I awlays loved and that was a place called “Open Flame” which was near the corner of Pape Avenue and Queens Street East. I can remember walking out of my grandparent’s front door and smelling something that I could not put my finger on. I knew it smelled amazing and my olfactory receptors have never failed me so I would walk down the street. Sure enough it was my old friend, Open Flame, and I would go in and immediately order fries, gravy and a Canadian favorite (…or favourite), poutine.

I bring this up to you because I read something in the book of Acts that reminded me of, well, the smell of poutine.

²² So Paul, standing in the midst of the Areopagus, said: “Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. ²³ For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. ²⁴ The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man,^[c]25 nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. ²⁶ And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, ²⁷ that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us.  (Acts 17.22-27)

The apostle Paul and others were in a very religious and cultural city…Athens. Paul didn’t berate them for being pagans and worshiping false gods but complimented them on how religious they were. He told them though that all of their religious efforts were not in vain because it essentially was proof (at least to Paul) that they were moving towards “the God who made the world.” In other words they were smelling something good but have yet to taste it. Then Paul preached to them more about this God and some accepted and some made fun of him but overall the message made sense to them (Acts 17.28-32).

Which got me thinking…

Many of us smell God but have yet to taste of his wonderful goodness. The first time I smelled Open Flame all I knew was that there was something lovely in that place. It sucked me in, convicting me to enter the threshold of tasty goodness. I ordered fries, gravy and poutine and sunk every enamel I could muster into a little piece I like to call God-food.

But…

I had to walk in…

The smell is not enough. I have to sink my teeth into it. For many of you there is the smell of God but you have yet to taste of him. You do good things and are good folks but there is something missing. Perhaps you attend church and have done so for years but something seems to be missing.

You have to taste God. Not the cheap God. Not the fake gods. But God, who made heaven and earth. He is the one calling you.

Enjoy.

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Photo Credits: Jen Arrr on Creative Commons