Theology

How to handle negative people in the church

The church is full of wonderful people who are gifted kingdom-workers and the harvest is dependent on those workers. But the church is still full of people and any system will have its negative components. If you think of the church in terms of a body then negative people can be either a virus or a bacteria. Viruses often are sifted out on their own terms and not much is required other than time and rest whereas bacteria can only be treated with direct medicine to weed the bacteria out.

Such could be said about negative people. Why are they negative? Sometimes it is their personality. They are just negative because they just do not know how to be positive. They are glass half-empty people. Sometimes it is because something happened to them from a member of the church and now they wish to hold the entire church accountable. Sometimes people have agendas and their utopia-like version of what the church should be is not what it is and they become disgruntled at the work of the church. Sometimes people do not mesh with other people. There are some people who I just do not like yet I will serve them as a brother or sister in Christ.

The blood of Christ is bigger than our nuanced idiosyncrasies.

So how do you handle people who are just so negative? I have some suggestions.

  • Give them space. Sometimes people are just in a funk and (speaking from personal experience) they just do not want to talk to anybody. They need space to work things out themselves and perhaps humble themselves to let the Spirit of Christ dwell within.
  • Love them (1 John 4:20). That scripture is piercing. Before we open our mouths and reveal the character of our heart we better make sure our valves are pumping the love of God.
  • Serve them (1 Pet. 4:10). Find some way to serve them even when things seem most difficult. No need to lie to them but write them a note encouraging them letting them know you are genuinely praying for them.
  • Help restore them (Gal. 6:1). Perhaps they are negative because there is a sin which they have not worked through. This sin has continued to ruin their relationships and that includes the church. Help them work through sin. But to do that you must…
  • Listen to them (James 1:19). Say this aloud while you are reading….SLOW TO SPEAK…SWIFT TO HEAR. Insert two ears one mouth preacher joke here. It is serious though. Listen not only to what they are negative about but what you hear between the lines.
  • Rebuke them (Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Tim. 5:20). Rebuke seems like such a harsh word but the Greek word (ἐπιτιμάω) carries the idea of discouraging someone from further wrong. Sometimes you do not answer a fool according to his folly but then there are times when you must answer a fool according to his folly (Prov. 26-4-5). Do this in love though with all the above suggestions I have given. Don’t stop there though…
  • Forgive them (Eph. 4:32). We all need forgiveness and as much as we have received it we should hand it out as well. Freely you been forgiven freely you shall forgive.

We are supposed to live incarnationally which means our lives should, as best we can with the Spirit, embody Jesus (1 Cor. 11:1). Jesus was patient with negative people but also quick to point them out in their error. We must use our wisdom and the help of others when it comes to negative people.

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Photo Credits: Sean MacEntee on CC

A Look into my Spiritual Life – A post from a Former Youth Group Member

The following post is from a former youth group member who has graduated. The confessions here are honest and the struggle is genuine. I would love for you to respond. Obviously I have permission to post this but will keep anonymity for the sake of privacy.

A look into my spiritual life.

It is amazing when you take a step back and look at where life has taken you.  What makes life even more amazing is when you realize you are not the person you thought you would have been a few months ago.  Last summer I was at the peak in my spiritual health.  I was all about being a Christian and set out a mission to be a light to others and change the world by doing as many good deeds I could.  I had never had so much faith in what God was all about and where I stood in His plan.  To top everything off, I was blessed with some of the best friends and family anyone could ask for.  Everything was great.  But, with time comes change.

Somewhere in the midst of my senior year, I became caught up in all of the good feelings that came along with it.  But, unlike most teenagers my age, I continued to make myself aware of the things going around in the world.  I always knew the world was a very messed up place and felt that god was the answer, thus wanting to spread His love.  But,  I found it hard to justify my god when there is so much evil in the world.  If God is supposed to be this omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent being, then why does he create someone who is destined to strap a bomb to their chest and kill dozens of people? Why does he knit an innocent child in their mother’s womb, only to live a peaceful life in a secluded region never hearing this “good news” and go to hell? As questions like these ran through my head and I wrestled with my faith and would demand answers.  I would yell telling this big man in the sky that he isn’t giving me much to work with.  Eventually, I could no longer pray to a god I no longer believed in.  I remember talking to my youth minister about it and he told me something along the lines of “Maybe God is trying to see how far he could push me.”  But I saw no end to how I was feeling.  My disbelief in God never originated on the basis of creation vs. science, or any other arguments that in my opinion shouldn’t even contradict each other (but that is a whole new subject in itself).  My disbelief simply came from the realization that the Bible is extremely contradictory, and that I saw what I believed was others inventing a God that fit in their life.

So, I guess for the past five months I did not believe in the Christian God.  .  I somewhat accepted where I was, and looked forward to my future.  A few more months and I would be out of this town and could focus on what was and would always be real.  I kept it secret though because I’ve noticed that the disbelief in God among teens has become a cool thing to do.  Times have changed and intelligence has become cool.  With scientists gaining celebrity status and liberal propaganda sending messages through music and tv, it has become a popular idea that with intelligence, you must outgrow god.  I mean, how could anyone believe in god now days, right? You must be STUPID if you believe in GOD.  What really didn’t help was watching fellow Christians make absolute fools of themselves as they attempted to justify their faith to nonbelievers.  I couldn’t even back them up because in no way did I support any bit of the message they tried to get across. Of course I never believed the same thing the masses of atheists and agnostics concerning god.  I still had my unique testimony, I still believed in A god, and I still believe that life has a purpose. Everything was complicated.  When I wasn’t busy with school or having a good time with friends, I had a million thoughts running through my head about where I stood in my faith.  I would have never dreamed that ME, a boy raised in his church and by his church would reject his faith.  Especially with the uplifting experiences in the previous summer.

What I believed was acceptance of the truth led me to the conclusion that there was no turning back.  My free thought had become a poison to my faith. God “trying to see how far he could push me” was only another delusion, and there was no way I could return to my previous faith.  But, as I overheard a discussion between two friends concerning god, a simple connection was made.  I found answers to my questions.  The conversation was about the omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence of God.  This conversation was key to my battle because the topic was the origin of my doubt and ultimately my disbelief.

Basically I realized that I am human, a mere creation of god and miracle of nature.  I would say that I understand very much about the world around me and I am a pretty smart guy.  But God is not something to be understood by humans.  We cannot fathom his omnipotence, omniscience, or omnipresence because we are human beings.  Before you assume that I am accepting ignorance, let me explain in human terms as explained by a good friend of mine.  God is like an ultimate chess player.  He knows every move you can make, and whatever move you make he isn’t surprised.  This isn’t because he knows, but rather he his all-knowing.  Our freewill plays into this game of chess, but we are humans.  We care confined by this thing called time.  I know that someone with intelligence exceeding mine might find a flaw in this comparison, but I don’t care. If there is anything repeated the most in that flawed ancient book called the bible the most, it is that we are supposed to trust in God.  I suppose I never understood what it meant to trust in God.  I thought that I knew it all when really I just wasn’t humble enough to accept that something that seems nonexistent could have power and knowledge that was beyond my own.  But, who am I to call out God on something I can’t even understand?

As the world continues to be a disastrous little rock flying through space, I believe that God knows what he is doing.  He has everything taken care of.   John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me.”

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PHOTO CREDITS: Paro for Peace on CC

 

5 BIG Reasons why you SHOULD go on a Short-Term Mission Trip

Yesterday I left you hanging trying to convince you why you should not go on a short-term mission trip. Today I want to try to give you 5 big reasons why I think you should go on a short-term mission trip. Before you castigate me as a hypocrite realize that with every decision we make there are (as my dad drilled into me for years) pluses and minuses and we have to weigh them accordingly. I promise I won’t start each one with the same letter this time!!!

#1 EXPOSURE

Let’s be a little frank here, most of us live a coddled life free from exposure to risk. We even pray for safety (the “unmolested” prayer), security and freedom from any and all harm. From Christian schools, to home-schools to private neighborhoods we live a sheltered life. Going away forces us to experience new culture, new Christians and different ways of living. All of which is good.

#2 OBEDIENCE

Not all of us HAVE to go on a short-term mission trip to follow Jesus’ Great Commission (Matt. 28.18-20) but to do so is a form of obedience to that command. The problem, as stated in the last post, is when we leave our obedience in the country or place we served. Nevertheless, doing so is a form of obedience.

#3 CAMARADERIE

Or, fellowship. Some of my fondest memories are on short-term mission trips serving alongside of people both young and old. Look, we hide who we really are in the three times (or how ever many) you gather during the week. But, working alongside of someone for a week exposes you to more of who they are and this is a good thing.

#4 MOMENTUM

Once you create a fire for mission in someone often it sets a course along a line that cannot be quenched. Countless people have decided to do more mission work because of a short-term mission trip. It’s like tasting something amazing and wanting more.

#5 EDIFICATION

Both the individual and church is edified (built-up, developed, strengthened) when we do these short-term mission trips. Paul commands the Romans to edify one another and we are also included in the extended context of that verse (Rom. 14.19). When we go on trips it allows the local church to gain strength but it allows the individual to do so as well. I am not a leadership guru but that seems to me like a WIN-WIN.

There could be more so what would you add?

5 Big Reasons You Should NOT Go on Short-Term Mission Trips

Let’s first define what I mean by “Short-Term Mission Trip.”

SHORT-TERM MISSION TRIP: A temporary period of time where a church group (or group of Christians) travel domestically or internationally to come alongside a church or para-church organization to help advance the kingdom of God in that specific geographic location.

There are examples of short-term mission trips in Scripture as Paul, Luke, Barnabas, Timothy, Mark and others went to different cities for short periods of time starting churches (Insert book of Acts here). Short-term mission trips seem to be the norm now for many churches and just about every youth group has their own place(s) that they go to each year. I love short-term mission trips and in the next post I plan on discussing why we SHOULD go on a short-term mission trip. But today I want to discuss 5 reasons why I believe you should not go.

#1 – CONVENIENCE

This may be the top reason as many of us find it “convenient” to do mission work somewhere else rather than right where God plants us. Sometimes we travel thousands of miles to do mission when all we have to do is walk next door. Short-term mission trips tend to be convenient.

#2 – CONFINEMENT

As a youth minister I have been guilty of placing too much stock in events like camps, retreats and trips to place the hype of our spirituality in these weeks. What happens? We leave the trip, retreat or camp and we also leave God. Sometimes we confine our spirituality into events not understanding that we are called to “go” AND to “BE”.

#3 – CAPITAL

I am not trying to be critical at all but what would it look like to send our plane ticket money to the churches who already know the work and are indigenous to the culture instead of buying a ticket and going to a place where we do not know the culture nor the language? Why not work locally (assuming you do) and save on travel, hotels, and other costs.

#4 – CONSUMERISM

We tend to view mission trips sometimes through the lens of what it can do for us. Whether it is an experience, sites to see or places we enjoy we often look at it in terms of consumerism. Most of all, we miss out on developing real relationships because we go on the trip, develop friendships, and hardly keep in touch (because of the nature of the trip).

#5 – CONTROL

There is this sense that as “American Christians” we are the better way of doing church and so we are going down there to show how good of a church we are. It becomes a twisted power structure and we want to control how they do church down there. Such could not be farther from the truth as most often “American Christians” have a distorted view of church and they actually teach us how to do church.

Now…stay tuned tomorrow for why we SHOULD go on a short-term mission trip.

 

FFA, Music, Worship and Identity

Last week I had the opportunity to sit in a FFA banquet honoring the East Robertson High School FFA and their accomplishments throughout the year. During the ceremony they played a slideshow of pictures and the music in the background of the slideshow were recent popular country songs. This made perfect sense to me since FFA is geared towards farmers but as the music played my mind was drawn to the power of music and worship and how it is tied to our identity.  Consider the following Scriptures…

1 Praise the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens!
Praise him for his mighty deeds;
praise him according to his excellent greatness!

Praise him with trumpet sound;
praise him with lute and harp!
Praise him with tambourine and dance;
praise him with strings and pipe!
Praise him with sounding cymbals;
praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord! (Psalm 150)
Notice the identity that comes with worship and music. In the many years of youth ministry one thing is consistent and that is youth (mainly girls) are always wanting to sing more songs and pray more yet rarely do they ask to listen to another sermon, bible class or whatever. Why? When we worship God we are identifying with him in a way that nothing else can. Many of you have favorite songs or hymns…
  • Blessed Assurance
  • I’ll Fly Away
  • Nearer My God to Thee
  • Amazing Grace
  • As the Deer
  • Precious Lord,
  • O to be Like Thee

Why do these songs speak to you? I believe that the singing of the these songs swiftly identifies you with the Holy Spirit and allows you to offer up what is left of your broken spirit. A.W. Tozer once said:

“I can safely say, on the authority of all that is revealed in the Word of God, that any man or woman on this earth who is bored and turned off by worship is not ready for heaven.”

As my mind runs across the denominations I know the one thing I see consistently throughout is music. Whether it is acapella or accompanied by various instruments people sing and they enjoy it and I believe God does as well.

Why?

It identifies them. Much like the old Negro Spirituals sang of their story we too sing a beautiful story that sets us apart. Enjoy this spiritual and have a great week.



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Photo Credits: Ged Carroll on CC

Spiritual Formation and the Mitigation of Pain

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.  – Henri Nouwen

I was sitting in the auditorium of our church building trying to center myself from restless thoughts and devilish inhibitions that keep me from glorifying the Savior when I heard the words that I have heard many times before. You have heard them in one form or another and it goes something like this…

Father protect us from all harm and help us to enjoy a worry-free life so that we might serve you.

I have even heard some of the old-timers thank God for being able to worship him “unmolested.”  I must admit, as a new Christian that prayer scared the crap out of me. I thought, “do they molest people in this church?” Thankfully someone explained this to me and they used that term to mean keeping us from harm, in any facet, form or function.

I wonder though, does God want us to live a live free from pain?

If so, then why are there so many instances of pain among God’s followers in Scripture?

Adam, Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, Bathsheba, Solomon, Samson, Ruth, Naomi, Job, Daniel, Isaiah, Jonah, Jesus, Peter, John, Paul, Timothy, Barnabas….

They all experienced pain.

Yet, pain was a part of their story that was something to rejoice in rather than suffer in. When we pray that we live a worry-free pain-free life it behooves us when pain actually comes. Why? Because we thought that if we lived right, gave enough in the collection plate, avoided saying naughty words and abstained from drinking a beer or a glass of wine then somehow we were supposed to live until we were 80, have a beautiful house with a three-car garage, have three kids all named after bible characters, 7 grandchildren (perfect number right?) and a perfect story. Then we die in our sleep.

Pain free…

The problem with that is 99.9% of us will not experience life in that manner. Some of us will get cancer. Some of us will never get married. Some of us will get married three or four times. Some of us will have kids, some of us will not. Some of us will have to bury our kids while some of us will have kids grow old.

But we will all experience pain.

So we need to stop trying to live a life mitigating our pain and instead live a life seeking to glorify God in our pain.

A few years ago John Piper wrote a piece called, “Don’t waste your cancer.” I thought it was helpful because it shows that God’s sovereignty reigns supreme over our finite comprehension. Our thoughts are not God’s thoughts and while the journey to understand God’s will is important we need not confuse our will with God’s ultimate will for us. One seeks to self-glorifcation while the other seeks Savior-glorification. Here are the major points from Piper’s article:

  1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.
  2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.
  3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.
  4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.
  5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.
  6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.
  7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.
  8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.
  9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.
  10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

In other words, this life is not about the mitigation of pain (here, in the form of cancer) but the glorification of the Trinity. So understand that when you endure pain… and you will… this pain is a part of your story and does not need to be dismissed, underestimated, overestimated or misappropriated. It needs to be placed, in its naked and ugly form, as part of the grand story of God where then, and only then, it can be redeemed.

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Photo Credits: Shannon Yeh on Creative Commons

Relationships and the Unchurched

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The first step to taking the Great Commandment literally is to move from stranger to acquaintance in your relationships with those who live nearest to you.

Pathak, Jay; Runyon, Dave (2012-08-01). Art of Neighboring, The: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside your Door (p. 75).

I don”t know about you but it is difficult for me to develop new relationships. I like my consistency. I like my routine. I like my “ruts” of religiosity and when pushed to meet and greet new people I get, to be honest, exhausted. Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon’s book has been most helpful to me because it forces me to look at the most obvious primer of missional living as my neighborhood. When I lived in Marietta, Georgia we knew everybody in the neighborhood and we did everything together. We played tennis, swam on the swim team, went to school and did all things together. Neighborhoods have changed now and I know my next door neighbors and that is about it. Even in our churches I would say we are no more than acquaintances. That’s why when John Doe cheats on his wife we become shocked because after all, “How could John Doe do such a thing as he seemed like such a good Christian?” Well, it’s because he was only an acquaintance and we barely knew him.

That’s just with the church people.

What about the unchurched?

Dan Kimball had a graph that speaks to our predicament.

© Dan Kimball

So the task of every Christian is to look to their own “hoods” (as a friend of mine said) and develop relationships with them. Pathak and Runyon state it this way…

Stranger → Acquaintance → Relationship

So what are some steps you are doing in your own “hoods” to move, as they said in their book, down the line? Any ideas?

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Photo Credits: Andy Wright on Creative Commons

Missional Conversations 1 – Scott Armstrong

I interview Scott Armstrong from City Church Eastside in Atlanta, Georgia. Scott and I talk about the difficulties of church planting but also some of the amazing things God is doing to City Church in the Atlanta Metro area. Scott has some neat things to say when it comes to what he would do for those who want to be a church planter.



 

The Hardest Job of a Youth Minister

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I have been a youth minister for 8 1/2 which is less than many but more than most. I have stayed at the Main Street Church of Christ the entire 8 1/2 years which is rare for people these days. I have had many ups and many downs and I think I have come to grips with what I call the hardest job of the youth minister. It’s probably not what you think. I think it is easy to get kids to attend events, it is easy to come up with curriculum that the kids will at least appreciate, it is easy to have meetings, keep parents informed and it is easy to run the organizational aspect of the youth ministry. It really is. Guys like Jonathan McKee, Doug Fields, Tim Schmoyer, Mark Devries, Jim Burns and Josh Griffin give you plenty of resources and networks to run a ministry like it should. For you not to run an effective ministry (administratively and organizationally) means you are either lazy or simply just not listening to the pros.

The hardest job of a youth minister I have learned is discipling teenagers.

Notice I didn’t say “converting teenagers.” I even think that is relatively easy as you get a teenager involved, socially connected, and then plant opportunities for them to serve and connect and they will most likely make a decision. Yet, like you, I am seeing more and more Christians who are still attending services but could be described as nominal Christians at best. They really, if they were to be brutally honest, have no need for God because their lives do not call for the God of Scripture. Maybe the god of America but not the God of Scripture. This is what Christian Smith, Kenda Creasy Dean and others have defined as “Moralistic Therapeutic Deism” which means:

  1. A God exists who created and orders the world and watches over human life on earth.
  2. God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.
  3. The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about one-self.
  4. God does not need to be particularly involved in one’s life except when he is needed to resolve a problem.
  5. Good people go to heaven when they die. (ibid)

What we have created, as Kyle Idleman suggests, fans and not followers. People who like the idea of Jesus but really don’t know what it means to follow him. If you were to ask people who have cycled through our youth group here I think it would be safe to assume that many of them enjoyed their experience and felt like they were exposed to a lot of positive things but few of them would say that we were dangerous for God in what we did.

Which leads me back to the hardest job of a youth minister: discipling teenagers. Why? More questions loom…

  • How do you disciple teenagers who are undiscipled at home? Do you disciple the parents first?
  • How do you disciple teenagers who are new to the faith?
  • How do you disciple teenagers when the church context does not model discipleship? In other words where do you disciple them to?
  • How do you disciple teenagers when there is so much change among them physically, emotionally and mentally?
  • How do you disciple teenagers cross-culturally bridging ethnic and socioeconomic gaps?
  • How do you disciple teenagers when you feel like you are inadequate as a disciple?

It is the hardest job of a youth ministers. Period. Of course, the comfort should come that it is not up to us to disciple teenagers as we come along side of the Spirit who works in people. We also have a powerful tool that we can offer: the gospel. The good news that Jesus Christ died on the cross for the sins of humanity to loose the chains of any gap that separates us. So while the toughest job of a youth minister is to disciple teenagers it is a job that we must do with the help of a Savior, the Spirit and the Sword.

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”
Refrain:
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim;
I’ll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb.
And now complete in Him,
My robe, His righteousness,
Close sheltered ’neath His side,
I am divinely blest.
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.
When from my dying bed
My ransomed soul shall rise,
“Jesus died my soul to save,”
Shall rend the vaulted skies.
And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down,
All down at Jesus’ feet.
Photo Credits: Ocad123 on Creative Commons

Feeling Like a Drain Plug

The Christian’s life is a fickle thing fraught with interesting turns and challenging twists. One day we feel like God is our BFF and nothing can separate us from His abundant love and the next day we feel like there is a cosmic chasm between God’s grace and the fate of our everlasting souls. While taking a bath today after a somewhat intense workout I put my hand over the drain and felt the pressure of the water weighing heavy on my hand. I thought about what a perfect metaphor a drain plug is for the Christian life because of one major fact: WE ARE OFTEN STUCK IN BETWEEN.

You read that correctly. If you are a Christian then you understand there comes a time where the tension of the drain plug becomes the very definition of our souls. Because we are so close to going down the drain but we, for some reason, are alive but the weight of the water (the world) is pressing down on us. So there we are, stuck between being flushed and holding the world and the pressure is too much to bear but alas, we are stuck.

Yet…

To relieve the pressure the plug must be drained. The plug cannot pull itself, it must be pulled. Jesus died so that all the pressures of this world can go down the drain (Matthew 11:28-30). Did you know that a drain is not designed to go down the drain? We are not designed to be flushed, drained, evacuated, disintegrated, bombarded or discarded.

WE ARE DESTINED FOR GREATER THINGS.

We are invited to participate in the kingdom of God and to reign-in what God is doing in heaven so that it can be established on earth and the chains of spiritual warfare cannot have dominion over your souls. We are promised an eternal kingdom where the apostle John tells us that the second death will not reign over our souls (Rev. 20:6). Did you catch that? Jesus is pulling the plug and all of the worldly sorrows are flushed.

So what do you need to let go?

What do you need to focus on? In what ways are you experiencing (not?) the abundant life (John 10:10)?

In what ways are you feeling sorry for yourself and not allowing Jesus to change your life?

Feel like a drain plug?

Allow Jesus to pull the plug.